more sh*t on @eBay nobody wants

1. bath water for half a grand: other than the raunchy item description (you crazy Canadians!) this bottle of orange-scented-vagina-infused water could be all yours. What’s next, tainted toilet water?

2. penis cheetos: yes, finally – a tasty wang that leaves a cheesy residue. as bizarre as this may be, it is nice that they’re only asking for a $1,000 because they’re donating it to charity. i just hope it comes with bubble wrap.

3. panties for your hands: i have no words for this bad boy. however, i am wondering if this will become winter’s newest trend…

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3 erratic & bizarre eBay bids to waste your money on

The coolest thing EVER about eBay is that you can actually bid on literally, anything. Or, bid a penny on absolutely nothing. But here’s a few bids to swallow this morning with your bowl of cereal.

1. The Instrument of Death and Destruction – “This slightly used DIXON TICONDEROGA HD2 pencil was involved in some of my worst dedision processes and must go”

No, I didn’t spell that wrong. I just don’t get why a pencil would take so long to get here? Must be a true bad dedision. Be afraid of the pencil.

2. 1 Gallon of Trash From The Green Belt In Austin, Texas – “The money i am collecting is simply just going into my gas tank, my lunch, and a box of trash bags. And don’t worry, a gallon of trash will not be mailed to your doorstep =) lol”

The concept is smart: to collect money to stop pollution on your school field trip. But with a title like that, prepare to have 0 bids because we all really wanted a gallon of trash on our porches. And I’m not too sure how far 99 cents is going to last in your gas tank.

3. Prison Id Card – “Your bidding on a old prison I’d card HAPPY BIDDING”

How can bidding not be happy when this is your prize? Maybe it’s time I start my prison ID card collection…